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Wishing. Dreaming. Loving. Praying.

Dec 23 '12
Enjoying The Nutcracker with @summergracie !  (at Wright Center)

Enjoying The Nutcracker with @summergracie ! (at Wright Center)

Nov 24 '12
Christmas at Autumn’s Closet!!! ;)

Christmas at Autumn’s Closet!!! ;)

Nov 7 '12
Bad teddy!  (at Birmingham Children’s Theatre)

Bad teddy! (at Birmingham Children’s Theatre)

Nov 1 '12
I was a cool cat for Halloween. I left my sunglasses in the car… Out you get the picture.

I was a cool cat for Halloween. I left my sunglasses in the car… Out you get the picture.

Oct 30 '12

In the family.

So, my dad had just recently had part of his colon removed. He was doing pretty good recovering until last night. He was cramping really bad so mom took him to the ER.

He has bubbles around his colon which means he has a leak. He is on pain meds and has nausea. He had to stay in the hospital til things clear up.

He has had such a hard time with his colon. It’s like he any get well. He has been sick and in and out if the hospital since May. :(

I’m praying for healing for my dad! And for my stomach! God knows what we need to go through. And in trusting in his divine plan. Praying to and loving him through the valley!

Oct 30 '12

Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated is optional.

I’ve had stomach problems for the past six years. I’ve had several ulcers, GERD, and my gallbladder removed in the past. In the past year, I haven’t been able to eat full meals and most recently I can only eat a few fork-fulls before becoming full and sick. I decided it was time to have some test run. I was tired of feeling sick.

I had an EGD ran. They saw that i had gastritis, a hiatal hernia and that food wasn’t passing through my stomach. Dr. T came to the conclusion that i have delayed stomach emptying issues. Which is called Gastroparesis. Gastroparesis is a condition in which the muscles in your stomach don’t function normally.

Ordinarily, strong muscular contractions propel food through your digestive tract. But in gastroparesis, the muscles in the wall of your stomach work poorly or not at all. This prevents your stomach from emptying properly. Gastroparesis can interfere with digestion, cause nausea and vomiting, and play havoc with blood sugar levels and nutrition.

There is no cure for gastroparesis. Making changes to your diet may help you cope with gastroparesis signs and symptoms, but that’s not always enough. Gastroparesis medications may offer some relief, but some can cause serious side effects.

Dr. T wants to run an upper GI before completing the diagnosis. UGI is A diagnostic test that examines the organs of the upper part of the digestive system: the esophagus, stomach, and duodenum (the first section of the small intestine). A fluid called barium (a metallic, chemical, chalky, liquid used to coat the inside of organs so that they will show up on an X-ray) is swallowed. X-rays are then taken to evaluate the digestive organs. This will happen at a later date. But for now, I have to eat as if I have GP. The diet for GP is very limited. Each person is unique and affected differently. I am just now starting this journey so I will find out what affects me and what doesn’t.

The diet consists of eating 6 really small meals a day. Restrictions: low fat foods, low fiber, nothing spicy or fried. Baked is best. No beef. Fish is much easier to digest then chicken however some people can handle chicken. Food must be cooked in olive oil. Low sodium. Low seasoning. Low fat.

There are different steps in the diet.

Step 1: Liquid diet. Such as sprite, ginger ale. Plain saltine crackers. If I was vomiting i would stick to just clear liquids but sense I am not I can add meal substitute drinks such as V-8, Ensure, Carnation Instant Breakfast. I can also have soups such as chicken broth and chicken noodle soup as long as I chew the noodles really really well. I have also added yogurt and jello to this step for me. I found that in moderation it doesn’t bother me. Smoothies.

Step 2: I can add soft foods to my liquid diet. Select cooked veggies without the skin, (such as potatos, carrots, spinach, squash…) Eggs, peanut butter ( 2 tablespoons daily), white rice, pasta, noodles, fruits without skins ( apple sauce, pears..) low fat cheese.

Step 3: Add meat to the diet. Baked or grilled Fish and poultry.

I am only in Step 1 of my journey. I started to get depressed right away when i was researching GP and how to control it. I have already issues with friends wanting to go out to eat and I had to be super picky. It’s not something that is gonna be a lot of fun. It’s going to take some and work and determination. I have always thought I wouldn’t be one of those people who had to give up fatty foods like chicken fingers and french fries or chocolate cake. But now, here I am. One of those people. Although my reason isn’t being obese or a little weight gain, it’s still just as emotionally taxing. Although I may not look like someone who has an emotional connection to food. I am. And having to give up my comfort foods is really hard. Having to ignore urges to eat is also hard. I may think I am hungry and truth is my body probably needs the nutrition but I can not over eat or I will become sick. I have to make sure Its spread out. Sigh.

It’s going to be tough process. And I can not do this without God. Without prayer, support, and understanding from friends and family.

I also need a place to vent and get all my frustration and hopefully my praise reports out so I plan to blog quite often.

Maybe someone else with GP will come across my blog and wither be helped or help me.

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” - Jeremiah 32:17

Oct 28 '12
FroYo with my Dobbsy! So glad he visited for a bit. 👍😀🍨@divasheriff

FroYo with my Dobbsy! So glad he visited for a bit. 👍😀🍨@divasheriff

Oct 10 '12
Taken with Instagram at O’Henry’s Coffee

Taken with Instagram at O’Henry’s Coffee

Oct 5 '12

Eskimo Kisses

I dream of what use to be. I dream of a time where things seemed free. Not a lot of struggle to go with the rain. Just Eskimo kisses to ease the pain.

Freckles and giggles spent the night away. Basking in sunlight when the dawn breaks. New feelings and hearts steady sway. When Love and laughter is all it takes.

Simple times turned into hardened troubles. When the kids forgot how to play. Love and life moved to shambles. And Eskimos forgot how to kiss the day away.

Oct 1 '12

Knowledge. Relationships. Linguistics.

So, I was raised in the country. Bought up around people who could live on the land if need be. I’m talking about good ole southern folk. Everyone knows everyone and everything about you and your mama and em’. There are things I love about the south and there are also things I hate about the south. I love that I was brought up in a close family that taught the importance of love and faith. Love not only for your kin, but also for your next to kin. Love for your neighbors and your neighborhood. Love for your country and your beliefs. And most importantly, love for God and his way in your life. Respect for your elders and the people who work hard to bring you a better life. Not just your momma and daddy or aunt or grandma or who ever raised you but also the police officer who directed traffic in the mornings when you were on the way to school, the preacher who visited you in the hospital, the bag boy at the grocery store who helped you to your car. These small town heroes may not be the most educated but they make a difference in the lives of others. Those are all good things about where i came from.

One thing I see as a negative side of growing up in this area is linguistics. I’m not talking about the sweet southern twang and quirky sayings that come from the south. Yes, that is part of it but I am talking about simple English. I am still fighting the grammar monster to this day and probably will my whole life. The way people talk in that area affects me everyday. I feel as if i will constantly make mistakes because i learned how to speak incorrectly. I love my accent and other people seem to love it as well. However, I feel inadequate in the eyes of the well educated and great speakers. I have a Bachelors degree and I have been educated but it still doesn’t change what has been drilled in my head all of my life. Just because i have a southern twang and i make grammatical mistakes does not mean I am at a lack of intelligence. But it does cause me grief. All these aspects, of the south, play a huge role in who I am today and will be tomorrow. People see me a certain way because of the way I speak.

What made me blog about this?

Well, first it was about overcoming fear. A fear that guys that are philosophers at heart and speak with ease and intellect wouldn’t find me attractive because I can’t speak with fluidity and great knowledge. But not just guys that I’m interested in but people in general. I love to learn and I love to talk. Especially to people about their passions. And most talkative passionate intellectuals are not lacking in the grammar department. It’s embarrassing when I jumble up sentences and possible say something incorrectly. I’m afraid that I turn people way. That they don’t see me as interested or passionate about the subject matter.

Second, my career is very competitive. And one thing I need to be able to do well is speak. I’m an actress for Christ’s sake. Do you know how bad it looks in an audition or interview when the judge or interviewer has to correct my speech? I fear that this will cause me to lose job opportunities or that I won’t be taken as a serious actress. Not just an actress but as a serious professional.

I have a passion. A drive. That passion, that drive that i have is there because of where i am from. I will succeed as a creative. And I will find someone who also has drive and passion for something great. I will overcome my fear and I will not let this weakness hold me back.